LOVE

What kind of love is love?

The kind which aims to unite, not separate.

Makes you think and act in ways you never thought you could sink to,

But in the next instant, lifts you up.

Love that seizes you and grips relentlessly while you panic and try to fight your way out

Unsuccessfully.

You must accept this love as is.

Although romantic, not the love that the French pride themselves on inventing,

Nor the kind with candle lit dinners and soft embraces that girls' dreams are used to.

Weird love.

Sometimes disguised as fear,

Which labels you insecure, fickle, self-centred, selfish, delusional,

Pathetic.

Love that must acquire all these names in order to transcend them.

Disgraceful, hostile, resentful, competitive,

Abusive, shocking, sorrowful, heart-wrenching,

Melancholy, accepting, soul-strengthening, adventurous,

Patient... peaceful... pure ...

Divine.

You grow to not require this love materially,

For it is already there in spirit.

Nevertheless, don't doubt your duty to receive this love in form

When it comes knocking on your gates.

This love makes you cry about why life is so unfair to the heavens,

Which have honored you with this glorious blessing.

It punishes you if you don't assert your self-worth,

And then rewards you as you let go of that requirement.

The love that bounces between freedom and dependency

For it requires both.

Love that raises abilities,

But destroys the cozy niche of possessions you've dug for yourself.

Not the love that comforts you with a house, cars, and a joint bank account,

But the kind that sparks awareness.

Not the love that is satisfied with compatibility, comfort, and pretense,

But the kind that rejoices at the destruction of these things.

Love that is constantly increasing and building up,

But to what?

Love that terrifies you with its urge to not be afraid of the future.

The kind that asks, and tests, and needs, and drains,

But gives you joy as you continue giving.

The kind that made Christ say "You are murdering me, but I still love you."

One fine day, this love may finally satisfy your ego,

But by then you will not have one.

The love that ebbs and flows and ebbs and flows...

And finally engulfs.

The love that remains when every other option has been exhausted.

The kind that mocks you as you realize there may never be anything else but its delicious self.

You cannot win this love,

you can only surrender.

Already everything and nothing else.

Philos, Éros, and Agápe.

Eternal, Total, Final.

Unconditional

True

Love

Written by Julia Yusupova